- Do you have old childhood memories that still haunt you?
- Do you hold resentment against someone in your family and can’t seem to get over it?
- Do you often beat yourself up for feeling way too emotional?
- Have you experienced a childhood trauma that cripples your ability to love yourself and your life?
Consider that you are the sum of everything you have ever been or experienced. It is believed that all trauma starts from childhood and that the most destructive behaviour patterns experienced by us are related to our inner child, and that our lack of conscious understanding of our inner child, is what leads to our emotional, behavioural, and relationship difficulties. We may have matured biologically but we have not developed psychologically at the same pace.
The ‘Inner child’ is a concept in psychology created by prominent psychological thinks, Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud. They suggest that within each of us, there are 3 personalities: our adult, our inner child, and our ego. Our adult is our conscious mind; the logical and responsible one. The one who makes conscious decisions and opinions.
Who is the inner Child?
The inner child is the part of us that is:
- Emotional, reactive
- Driven more by ego
- Knows fear; Feels flight or fight
- Has a need to be seen
- Does not always feel safe
- Want to be liked
- Is a people-pleaser
- Feels they’re not being heard or seen
How do I begin to understand my Inner Child?
The first step is to determine and understand your Jungian Archetype. The Jungian Archetypes are the doorway to knowing yourself. Once this is determined, it becomes much easier to see the gaps and whether or not you have neglected that part of you because before we can heal the child, we must first discover the child’s characteristics or archetype.
There are 12:
Trauma is what causes our inner child, our authentic self, to be rejected and hidden as it can no longer function in the world. Instead, we use coping mechanisms we pick up from society such as “suck it up”, “don’t cry”, “be strong”, and “get over it” to create barriers between our authentic selves and the world. We create them to protect us from further hurt however this has serious consequences. As adults, we may be convinced that we have moved on. We may even judge our childhood harshly for being too sensitive or innocent.
We don’t have a conscious memory of everything that has ever happened to us, yet everything is stored in our unconscious memory, which is where the inner child lives.
When we deny the inner child, we are controlled by it. This happens unconsciously. It also leads to addiction, self-destructive mentality, poor relationships, bad decision-making, and unhealthy emotions.
What is Inner Child Therapy?
It essentially encourages people to look at their childhoods with honesty and compassion in order to heal. Some modalities used in this therapy are coaching, meditation, hypnosis, and visualization. We also tap into the subconscious mind through unconscious writing. This is not about shutting up that inner child of yours, but rather to better understand, listen, and honour your true pure spirit, without ego and pride.
So if you ever wondered by you behave the way you do at times, feel like you’re unable to control your emotions, or have experienced a traumatic event or childhood, Inner Child Therapy may be an effective option for you.
If you’re on a journey to self-love, acceptance, and compassion, I invite you to get in touch with me to find out what’s possible out of doing this inner work.
PS. Want to know which archetypes you are? Send me an email and I’ll send you the quiz!