Here’s the truth about relationships and marriage – it’s messy, it’s beautiful, it’s amazing, and it’s challenging. We all want to feel loved, appreciated, and supported. But often, we find ourselves stuck in a vicious cycle of fear, doubt, and guilt, creating feelings of frustration, loneliness, and worry.

But here’s the unfiltered truth: Marriage is raw. It’s tough. But it’s also real. It’s about facing these truths, getting real, and saying, “This is us. Flaws and all.” It’s our chance to grow, to truly connect, and to learn to forgive.

1. AM I ENOUGH?

That nagging doubt, always lurking. Every day, it gnaws at us. We’re juggling roles multiple balls and sometimes, it feels like we’re dropping the ball. The fear of falling short, not just as partners but as parents, is real and universal. We often feel guilt, shame, and often feel like a failure

 2. PARENTING’S SILENT STRUGGLES

Beyond the cute photos and cherished memories, there’s sheer terror. “Are we messing this up?” Holding our child, love is mixed with panic and sadness. Every choice feels like a potential landmine, every decision a gamble with their future. You want to be the best rolemodel for them but you often feel like an imposter barely being able to keep it together yourself.

 3. COMMUNICATION? MORE LIKE MIS-COMMUNICATION

Words get twisted, intentions misunderstood. We think we’re talking, but often end up not feeling heard or respected. Misunderstandings aren’t just occasional hiccups; they’re frequent battles to be seen and accepted just the way we are. We argue, we misunderstand each other, we say things we don’t mean, and damn, it hurts.

4. LONELINESS IN A CROWDED HOUSE

Ever felt miles apart, even when they’re inches away? The lack of affection, the days when you feel more like roommates than lovers. It’s a punch to the gut. The paradox of marriage is feeling alone, even when they’re right beside you. The more you try to express your needs and frustration, the more it seems to make things worse and so you often suffer in silence. 

5. EMOTIONAL STAGNATION

You find yourself ruminating in old thoughts, worries, and anxiety working yourself up into a unconscious state of emergency. Perhaps you were never taught how to process and honour emotions. Perhaps you were told that emotions were bad or that you can’t show weakness.  You feel like a prisoner of your emotions unable to find your way out of the dark hole. You notice the vicious cycle of negativity you seem to keep falling into, but you have no way to escape it. You feel trapped and out of control so you find a way to cope: you may ‘numb out’ or you may find comfort in destructive or unhealthy behaviours like emotional eating, alcohol, extra-marital relationships or affairs, drugs, etc. Whatever it may be, you feel out of control and want to be able to self-regulate and become more emotionally resilient and disciplined.