Intimacy and Romance: Beyond the Sex

Intimacy. It’s what we all want whether we realize it or not.

Many men confuse intimacy with ‘getting jiggy with it’, and although they are closely related, intimacy is so much more than the physical connection that two lovers make.

In a nutshell, intimacy is a feeling of being close, connected, and safe to be your authentic self. It creates trust and encourages you to vulnerably share a whole range of thoughts, feelings, and experiences without fear of being rejected.  

Women feel an emotional strong connection with their partner when she is able to communicate at a deep level, share feelings and needs, and most importantly feel heard, validated, and understood.

Intimacy isn’t reserved just for romantic partners. It can be created by anyone. Again, sex and intimacy are not the same things. It is so much deeper, meaningful, and more complex.  

On the other hand, men usually view intimacy as a thing to DO (like intercourse) rather than an energy or way of being with another person.

We all want to feel special and loved. This goes beyond expressing it physically or sexually. Women will often complain that they feel used or exploited by their partners because the relationship lacks depth and the emotional connection and safety that both women and even men have come to expect when creating a meaningful and long-lasting relationship.

So why is creating intimacy difficult for so many people?

·      Fear of rejection or being judged often caused by trauma

·      Lack of confidence and know-how

·      Lack of understanding regarding the emotional needs and expectations of our partner

·      Lack of communication

·      Lack of trust

·      No quality time, too busy

So how do you create it?

10 signs of true intimacy in a relationship

1. You can be vulnerable with your true feelings

2. You can be honest and know you will not be judged

3. You enjoy and appreciate nonsexual intimacy

4. You understand and respect each other's boundaries

5. You feel totally supported no matter what happens

6. You feel totally insync and on the same page about important stuff

7. You make each other a priority and know how to make each other feel special

8. You trust the other person explicitly

9. You can show your silly quirky side without concern

10. You know how to communicate and listen respectfully 

For many couples, intimacy also revolves around romance. To me, they are almost identical in their purpose, energy, and behaviors.

You need intimacy to create romance. Or perhaps it’s the other way around.

Here are a few ideas if you want to create a deep connection, trust, and intimacy with your partner:

1.     Tell them what you admire or appreciate about them (and not just her hotness)

2.     Surprise her with a thoughtful gesture. Show her that you’re listening and paying attention to her needs and desires

3.     If you want to create a hot, passion-filled night, start slowly, and take your time. Women’s bodies need time to ‘warm up’.

4.     If you want to ‘blow her mind’, think about ways you can seduce her, tease her, and have her begging for your love

5. Remind your partner of how much you love, care, and are attracted to them making them feel more confident and bold

5.     Keep your promises, honor and respect your partner at all times

6.     Remind them of how much you care and/or when you are thinking of them. We all want to feel special.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR 

Jeanell is a Life and Relationship Coach who works with individuals to create a life they absolutely love. She specializes in the areas of communication, marriage, goalsetting, positive intelligence, and developing a growth mindset. With 20 years of experience in the personal growth, development, and human potential, Jeanell is passionate about teaching people how to become the best and most authentic version of themselves.