Is my partner a Narcissist?
A true Narcissist is a person who is diagnosed with Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), a mental condition characterized by:
An intense feeling of importance,
A profound need for unreasonable amount of attention and esteem
Lack of empathy for others
Regularly having disturbed relationships
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are described as Self-centered, Arrogant, and Demanding
Here are 7 traits to watch out for:
They will hog your conversation and talk about how good they are.
Whenever you start making a conversation with your partner they will constantly interrupt you to tell you about themselves. Your partner will be too busy to listen and will not engage in any interactive conversation with you.
Ask yourself: what happens when you talk about yourself? Do they ask more questions about you or are they are just self-focused?
Compliments Monger
A narcissist will look like a super confident person who will actually lack self-esteem. They will try to gain as much appreciation as they can or they will try to squeeze it out from you. They will constantly look to you to tell them how good they are. People who are actually self-confident will not not completely rely upon anyone to feel good about themselves.
“Narcissists use other people — people who are typically highly empathic — to supply their sense of self-worth, and make them feel powerful. But because of their low self-esteem, their egos can be slighted very easily, which increases their need for compliments”, says Shirin Peykar, LMFT
“The main difference between folks who are confident and those with NPD is that narcissists need others to lift them up, and lift themselves up only by putting others down. Two things people with high self-confidence do not do,” Peykar says.
Lack of Empathy
Absence of compassion, or the capacity to feel how someone else is feeling, is one of the trademark attributes of a narcissist.
Ask yourself: Does your partner care when you've had an awful day at work, fight with your closest friends, or fight with your parents? Ordo they get exhausted when you express the things making you sad?
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a type of manipulation and psychological abuse, and it's a sign of narcissism. Narcissists might heave outright lies, wrongfully accusing others, twist reality, and eventually control your world.
Most narcissists will not have any long term genuine friends. Looking deeper into their connections and you might see that they just have casual colleagues, friends they rubbish talk, and nemeses. Therefore, they may lash out when you need to spend time with your friends. They may say that you don't invest sufficient energy with them, make you feel guilty for spending time with your friends, or judge you for the type of friends you have.
What it feels when you start dating a narcissist?: You feel more anxious and less confident than you used to be. You often wonder if you’re being too sensitive. You feel like everything you do is wrong. You always think it’s your fault when things go wrong. You’re apologizing often. You have a sense that something’s wrong, but aren’t able to identify what it is. You often question whether your response to your partner is appropriate. You make excuses for your partner’s behaviour.
Taking the credit for everything
A Narcissist will split everything in a relationship with you whether it is good or bad. Any negative aspects or thoughts will be blamed on you and the credit for positive comments/appreciation will be taken by themselves. They will recall things as totally great and magnificent or as terrible and bad. They can't blend these two builds.
Narcissists can't see, feel, or recall both the good and the negative in a circumstance. They can manage just a single viewpoint at a time— which is theirs.
Brings you down when they feel uneasiness or anxious
Uneasiness or Anxiety is a progressing, unclear feeling that something awful is going on or going to happen. A few narcissists show their uneasiness by speaking continually about something bad that is going to occur, while some cover up and curb their nervousness. However, most narcissists project their uneasiness onto their nearest friends and family, blaming them for being negative, unsupportive, not putting them first, not reacting to their necessities, or being self centered. This is intended to move uneasiness to the other person trying to not feel it themselves. As you feel more bad/awful, the narcissist feels better. They feel more grounded and more superior as they sense your uneasiness and depression develop.
Problems occur when it comes to teamwork.
When it comes to each others feelings, a narcissist will only think about themselves. They do not think about their partner’s feelings. How will it affect the relationship? How will the other person think? A narcissist doesn’t take responsibility for their actions and don’t consider the implications and consequences.
Margalis Fjelstad, Ph.D., LMFT has said in her research, “Don't expect the narcissist to understand your feelings, give in, or give up anything they want for your benefit. It's useless.”
